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~ Reviews ~

Ambush Magazine Review

Kind Of A Drag, But With A Lot Of Laughs

Pageant puts men in many, many dresses, and asks that they parade about for 90 minutes as female contestants in a less-than-choice beauty pageant. But if the show is more than a drag, it is not quite satire, at least not if you accept the definition that satire is "the impulse to expose, condemn, correct or annihilate institutions or people through ridicule." Those words are too strong for what Pageant is up to.

The show is having fun with beauty pageants--but wanting to annihilate them? Condemn them? Never. You get the feeling that the creators got hooked on Miss America as kids, and probably still watch the various permutations with impish glee. They mine the cliches of these contests, but do so with a smile rather than a scowl. Pageant doesn't want to change the world--or even the channel.

Pageant was an off-Broadway hit in 1991, and is making its New Orleans debut at the Contemporary Arts Center where the polish is both on the nails and on the stage. There has to be enough glamor, talent and poise on view--even as the pageant versions of these gualities are being mocked--for the surprisingly genial joke to be sustained. Director Carl Walker and his cast have gotten it right.

Six contestants are vying for the title of Miss Glamouresse, and they are put through the typical pageant mill: swimsuit and evening gown competitions, talent showcase, and Q&A with the smarmy emcee and a hokey production number. Of course, everything is just a little exaggerated. Miss Industrial Northeast plays the accordion while roller-skating, for example, and Miss Bible Belt starts by singing gospel and winds up speaking in tongues. And we also get to see what the TV camera never shows: how the losers really feel.

One of the show's more inspired devices is enlisting several audience members as judges, creating a genuine tension of competition for the audience and also, apparently, for the performers....On Friday, Brooks Braselman, as Miss Deep South, won the title, thanks in part to a talent involving ventriloquism and two dummies. Braselman is also a very good sore loser, according to those who had seen the show the night before.

Pageantcan't be an easy show to cast, but it's a winning group at the CAC. In addition to Braselman, the contestants include Steven Sherman as Miss Texas, Russell Hodgkinson as Miss Great Plains, Douglas Park as Miss Bible Belt, Paul Soileau as Miss Industrial Northeast and Ken Weatherup as Miss West Coast. Wess Hughes handles the formidable assignment of song-and-dance emcee with gresy aplomb, and Roy Haylock turns up unbilled as the "old queen" about to relinquish her crown.

But Haylock deserves star billing for his costumes, makeup and wigs that help push the production over the top. Musical director Michael Howard ably guides the show through its numerous musical moments, which feature amusing choreography provided by Ben Bagby, Beverly Trask and Walker. Keith Christopher's set serves the purpose at hand, while Martin L. Sachs' lighting and Jeffrey Talbot's sound design lend a hand.

Hitting The G-Spot

Not that the production is skimpy. Far from it. The set by Keith Christopher and costumes, wigs and makeup by Roy Haylock show an abundant flair combined with an attention to detail. In one imaginative number, the contestants look like a line of pawns from an intergalactic chess set. But this is a play, which--to borrow some atrocious jargon from the Hollywood deal-makers--has "high concept." That is to say, it's based on a big, simple, easy-to-grasp idea.

The show (book by Bill Russell and Frank Kelly, music by Albert Evans) sets out to satirize beauty contests by having the aspirants played by men in drag. Beauty queens, indeed!

Despite the finesse of the accouterments and the cleverness of the text, this could easily become a gimmick--a one-joke play. The script protects itself by adding another level of satire. Each of the contestants represents a different region of the country. And each has a personality based on the stereotype of that region. This helps get us off the bedrock of gender. But the core of the show, in a way, is not its satire so much as an infectious offbeat silliness that draws its inspiration from the surreal oddity inherent in pageants of this kind.

The heart of Pageant is a series of bravura "talent" acts. We have been prepared for these, to some extent, by coming to know the personalities of the contestants. But it is here that the show must soar above its own premise if it is to truly surprise and delight us. The cast--under Carl Walker's direction--rises to the occasion.

We are agreeably amused, for instance, when Miss Bible Belt (Douglas Park) sings a Gospel song based on investment strategies, then does a bell-ringing accompaniement, speaks in tongues and, literally, flips out. Miss Industrial Northeast (Paul Soilleau) seems a fairly recognizable incarnation of the Latina ("Oh, jes, honey, jou know me."), until she zooms onstage to do her remarkable rollerskate/accordionist combo.

Miss Deep South (Brooks Braselman)appears for her act as a familiar incarnation of antebellum nostalgia. Then she reveals that her talent is not confined to singing Stephen Foster tunes, but includes ventriloquism (with two ingenious puppets from the Porta-Puppet Players). Miss Texas (Steven Sherman)gives us a sterling cowgirl tap number, while Miss Great Plains (Russell Hodgkinson) charmingly overcomes her girl-next-door introversion to dramatize her very own free verse ode "I Am the Land!" (it sounds like a collaboration betwen Carl Sandburg and Thelma Toole.)

And last but not least, that adorable vacuity from the San Andreas Fault, Miss West Coast--an amalgam of Bay Watch, self help, Spirolina smoothies and alternative paths to enlightenment--who gives us an interpretive modern dance entitled: "The Seven Ages of Me."

Presiding over the festivities with unctuous aplomb is host Frankie Cavalier(Wess Hughes), who proudly informs us that this is the second year in a row that he has been chosen by Glamouresse Beauty Products to emcee their annual Las Vegas-based event.

Music is provided by Flo E. Presti (piano), Jon Dendinger (synthizer) and Paul Tassin (drums). Michael Howard is musical director.

Spring definitely is in the air, and this bevy of self-proclaimed "natural-born females" strutting their stuff beneath the Glamouresse logo--a giant monogrammed "G"--manage more often than not to hit the notoriously illusive G-spot of humor.

Life Upon The Wicked Stage

I can still remember Mary Ann Mobley warbling her rendition of "Un bel di" and then seguing into "There'll Be Some Changes Made" as she stripped for the judges in Atlantic City. A later winner regaled us with the tale of how her artificial leg had grown to normal size under the ministrations of a faith healer. Nowadays all we can expect from these ceremonies are some reasonably attractive and intelligent young women who quite often have some genuine talent (even if it's wasted singing songs from Jeckyll and Hyde). The professional contestants have taken over, and the fun is gone from the post-Labor Day rite of passage.

Thankfully, Carl Walker is setting things right again. We don't have to search out our ancient recordings of Phyllis Newman in Subways Are For Sleeping (she became a star singing "I Was a Shoe-in Winner From Mississippi") to recall the golden days. Pageant is the musical, conceived by Robert Longbottom (a pseudonym?) with book and lyrics by Bill Russell and Frank Kelly and music by Albert Evans, which lights up the CAC and lightens the hearts of audiences for the foreseeable future.

Pageant offers nearly everything one needs in a summer entertainment. It has suspense--winners are not predetermined but selected by judges drawn from the audience (some of whom may be perverse enough not to look at the numbers they're holding up; after my favorite was relegated to Miss Congeniality status, I became as surly as Miss Texas and refused to play fair). It has satire in campy commercials for faux beauty products such as facial spackle. It has the talent competition from hell: a roller-skating accordion player vs. a born-again entrepreneur who speaks in tongues. It has patriotic, platitudinous heart when Miss Great Plains delivers an ode to agricultural culture deserving of a Four-H Clover. It has New Age sensitivity in an interpretive dance by Miss West Coast. And it doesn't have one serious moment, which is a blessed relief--I'll take Miss Glamouresse over Miss Saigon anytime.

The lovely contestants are a joy to behold. Steven Sherman is Miss Texas, a cowgirl-booted tapdancer who packs some big artillery and major attitude. Russell Hodgkinson is the midwestern entrant whose heart is as great as the plains, and whose physical attributes are just plain (now we know why all those states are squaree). Douglas Park is Miss Bible Belt, and her religious zeal is matched only by her commercial spirit. Brooks Braselman represents the deep south, and she's a better ventriloquist than Edgar Bergen and more beautiful than Mortimer Snerd. Paul Soileau of the industrial northeast is a Hispanic panic, and Ken Weatherup who is Miss West Coast, captures the spirit of California as the valley girl from EST with the radiant smile and the dim mind.

:Wess Hughes, aka Frankie Cavalier, is the emcee for the event who simply reeks of ooze and Nevada Loungeness (after all, he is a personal friend of Wayne Newton). Roy Haylock makes a guest appearance as the outgoing queen, Miss Glamouresse, whose career as a spokesperson for beauty products has bottomed out and whose glory is all behind her.

Director Carl Walker seems to be as adept at exracting extreme silliness from six big girls as he is at evoking the angst of three tall women. Clearly he has a multifaceted talent or a major personality disorder. The musical direction was by former Miss Mississippi Michael Howard. The set by Keith Christopher evokes Vegas glitz without overwhelming the proceeding and Ron Williams provided the wittily conceived beauty products. Roy Haylock contributed the glamorously gawdy costumes, wigs and makeup.

If you want to escape the summertime blahs and to understand the true meaning of beauty, drag yourself down to Camp for the hilarious Pageant.

Steppin' Out

Imagine six young men dressed like six young women all vying for a beauty title which includes competition in evening gowns, talent and commercial spokesperson. Sounds familiar? You may never look at The Miss America pageant again without doubling over.

Director Walker has six stars, a couple who returned from growning careers in other areas to perform in Pageant. Each masquerade is unique: fresh and different from the others. There is Miss Texas, a Bible babe, a vacant blond, etc. As successful as this sextette of guys turned dolls is, nobody ever goes over the top. Each understands that this is satire--and good satire has believeable roots. If you squint your eyes you'd swear you were watching genuine women parading about.

The endearing strength of Pageant's contestants is that we never are aware that they think they are being funny. Lopsided sincerity rules here!

Director Walker has great help from Keith Christopher's pink sets, lit nicely by Martin L. Sachs, and of course the magic of turning these males into females by local designer magician Roy Haylock. Music Director Michael Howard has enlisted ace pianist, Flo E. Presti. This is a really impressive technical crew.

Of all the "ladies," my favoirte ws Brooks Braselman's Miss Deep South, but the M.C,. of the event, Wess Hughes, sporting the largest gold lame cumberbund ever seen, wins praise too.

Do not confue Pageant with any drag qaueen show you might have seen. Pageant is a serious comedy with a peppy musical score. And guess what--you--the audience get to judge who actually wins the Miss Glamouresse Pageant. What a hilarious way to spend an evening with Pageant at the Contemporary Arts Center, Thurs. through Sat. with a Sun. matinee. Call 504.528.3800 for reservations.

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